“Don’t sweat the small stuff” - but what if the small stuff is big stuff?

“Don’t sweat the small stuff,” my dad used to say to me.

What happens if the small stuff was actually BIG stuff to me?

Were you allowed to feel your emotions as a child, or even now?

Or, did you hear comments like:

• Don’t worry about it. Let it go.

• Get a can of toughen up.

• There is no need to feel that way.

• You shouldn’t feel that way.

• You’ll be ok. Brush it off.

God bless you, dad. Sadly, you are no longer with us, and I love and miss you, but can I tell you, hearing that from you, really impacted me. The small stuff was big at the time for me. Hearing those words made me feel like I couldn’t talk to you and share what I was feeling. It made me feel like it was wrong to feel or experience whatever it was I was experiencing. And to be honest, I felt shit and sad quite often about being bullied and felt like I couldn’t talk about it. And I felt emotional at times (sad, guilty, mad) about you and mum divorcing and thinking you were alone and lonely given mum had remarried and Sal and I lived most of the time with them.

Yep. Don’t sweat the small stuff stopped me from having a voice and feeling like it was OK to feel these feelings. I didn’t feel safe to fully express myself; the good, the bad, the ugly!

I just pushed those emotions and thoughts down, down, down. But, where did they go? They didn’t go anywhere except buried deep in a place where I didn’t have to feel or think about it. They were suppressed.

But, what happened was they started showing up in my adult years. I was being triggered by certain people in my life, comments being made, situations I was in. And, voila, the sadness, the anger, the worry, the stress, the anxious feelings appeared.

So, that small stuff, ain't so small to me.

All of that said, I am happy to say that I found a brilliant tool. It's called EFT or tapping. It has allowed me to work through a lot of that stuff. A lot of those memories that hold negative emotions and beliefs, I have used EFT/tapping to bring calm and a shift in energy and emotion.

Dad, I know you were only doing your best, because you weren’t allowed to feel your feelings as a boy or even as a grown man. And, I love you dearly. But, I am here to stop that ‘generational’ story from continuing and as I continue to work through my stuff, I hold a space for Ruby to feel and work through her emotions. This is critical for her mental and emotional health, wellbeing and resilience.

I think if you were here, dad, you’d be open to using tapping… well, I would have made you try it.

Does this sound like a familiar story? Do you remember hearing comments like the ones above?

Think about possible comments you heard over and over as a child and how that might be showing up for you now. Any ill-feeling show up?

These comments have possibly stopped you from fully experiencing and feeling your emotions, expressing yourself and being authentically you. If you feel uncomfortable or scared when you feel a certain emotion or feel like you are not allowed or able to talk about how you are feeling, could that possibly impact your potential for living your life unreservedly?

Do you want to try something that could help you to live your life unreservedly? EFT/Tapping is so beneficial and could change your life.
​
To learn more contact me. I would love to tell you more and discuss how this could help you