Working because you want to? Working because you have to?

NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION, AS A WORKING MUM WE ARE EFFECTED – GOOD, BAD OR INDIFFERENT!

​Do you question whether you should have a career when you’re a mum? Should you be at home looking after the household and doing drop offs, pickups, afternoon tea, homework, etc.?
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Or, do you have no choice, but to work?

GOOD, BAD OR INDIFFERENT!

I have struggled with this from both sides. I had to go back to work very soon after Rubes was born because of financial reasons and then after a few years it shifted to wanting to work because I loved what I do.

So, I know sometimes we don’t have a choice, but to work. And, then we chose to work because we love it and want a career.
Irrespective, both scenarios bring its challenges, emotional issues and negative thoughts and feelings.

I believe, if you choose to work, it is absolutely your right to have a career and work. If you have to work, it should still be enjoyable. No matter the reason for working you can still be faced with a lot of judgement out there, which can impact how we feel about ourselves, viewed by others and triggers that might come from both the work and home environments.

Have you ever received the ‘look’ at work when you have needed to go to pick your children up from day-care of school during work hours because they are sick or have an appointment? That look of disdain - ‘why should you get to leave early’, (or on time, in actual fact). I have received the ‘look’ when leaving bang on finishing time because I needed to get my daughter from afterschool. And, quite a few years ago, when she was at day-care, there were a number of times I had to leave to get in the middle of the day because she had critters (aka nits) and I got the ‘look’ then. I couldn’t leave her there and be responsible for some many other children having critters. How many ‘looks’ would I get then?

Even if there was no look, perhaps you have a pang of guilt because you feel like you are letting down the work team for leaving. I have felt that for sure.

But, my daughter is my priority and her being picked up so she doesn’t share her critters or be left late at afterschool; her health and wellbeing, comes first.

What about those times when there is an assembly and your little one is getting an award. You can’t miss that, can you? But, you might get the ‘look’ or feel crap for arriving late because you go. Or, you can’t go because you can’t get the time off work. How does that make you feel?

Those special moments for your children are irreplaceable. Feeling bad about not being able to go, or going and feeling guilty and thinking people are judging you or have an issue with it, takes away from the joy of sharing it.

There are many companies that are completely supportive of working mums providing opportunities to work part-time or enabling a job sharing situation and provide a space for women to continue to grow their careers irrespective of mummy-status or not. However, there are still many companies who give the impression that they do, but actions speak louder than words and, women are still made to feel bad or awkward about having both, which is obvious when they miss opportunities or are over-looked for a promotion because the next level role requires someone there full-time, or just made to feel shit about working and being a mum by peers. Quite frankly, a lot of women work so efficiently that a full-time job could be done in 3 days anyway—but that’s a whole other article!

There are many comments I can make about companies still not walking the walk when it comes to supporting mums, but I will stop at this last one which I think is vital: that is the lack of facilities for expressing milk at work. OMG! We need to give those companies the collective ‘look’! When I went back to work when Rubes was three months old I needed to express. Guess where I had to breastfeed? The toilets, which was really the only quiet and completely private space. Not nice. And, I had comments made like ‘Is it morning tea time? Can you provide the milk?’ Seriously??

Have you experienced something like that, too? I am sure I am not alone.

In summary, working because you want or working because you have to, what is absolutely critical in order to function at your optimal level and be the best person for yourself and family, is your overall health, mental and emotional wellbeing, and being able to ensure you manage any feelings that come up at work. Feelings of stress, overwhelmed, anxiety and everything else in between. This can be both at work and in your home.

Finding that balance with working, feeling fine with your work environment and how it accepts you, being a mum, running a household, and everything else that comes with being a woman, needs to happen in order to be the best person for yourself, family and friends and, to stay health, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Finding the key to having the emotional, mental and physical calm and peace to be able to deal with all the pressures we have today, is the aim. I have used EFT / Tapping to deal with the emotions that have come up for me being a working mum.

EFT / Tapping could be the answer. Why not explore it further and see what impact it could make on your day to day being?